Whoa and ho, it’s New Year’s time
And once again we’re here
To fashion language into rhyme
With buzzwords of the year.
In this venture, we’re all finders.
Word-wise women, fill your “binders”!
Candidates with huge “war chests”
“Doubled-down” in all contests.
They stroked “their bases,” “reached out” to all
And even played “inside baseball.”
They “walked back” statements, searched “the weeds”
‘Twas “culture war” with “twitter feeds.”
“Working poor,” “the two percent,”
Cliches like these showed their intent
To stir “class warfare,” and incite
All of us to say, “Let’s fight!”
Legislators joined the fun;
All compromising they did shun.
Instead of “reaching ‘cross the aisle,”
Good ol’ “gridlock” oozed its bile.
“Honest brokers” spoke by rote,
Blocking ev’ry “up/down vote,”
Kicking issues “to the curb,”
While “job creators” filled their blurbs.
That said, they used “that said” too much
And they were really “out of touch.”
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“Failed policies” did not go well.)
Obama’s “didn’t build that” riled,
While Romney’s “Big Bird” never smiled.
But business, not to be outdone,
Churned out “platforms” by the ton.
“One-stop shopping,” “concierge,”
Kept us on our derrieres.
With “wash, rinse, repeat” as mantra,
They sold shampoos and new Elantras.
“Turnkey homes” and “sales events”
“Rebranded” even Pepsodent.
We “babes” and “bros” chipped in all right,
With “rockstar,” “mindset,” “I know, right?”
We followed everything that “trended,”
And what we didn’t like “unfriended.”
“Force multipliers,” “moving forward,”
Here comes Sandy, churning shoreward!
Now Dems and Reps are in a tiff.
We’re headed toward the “fiscal cliff”!
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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254
Copyright 2013 Creators Syndicate Inc.