Monthly Archives: January 2014

You looked a lot like my wife

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, … Continue reading →

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Ploughing at Night

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the … Continue reading →

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Cuff Links

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

The computer company, where my wife works, distributed a corporate-clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (Control) and the other Esc (Escape), just as they look You may be an elite athlete or a … Continue reading →

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Marriage Math

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t It does not take much besides that, which can improve the appearance of someone in such a way that more amount of blood can be stored for as … Continue reading →

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Extra! Extra! Headlines Take Headers!

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

Readers often send me collections of funny headlines, but I don’t use them in my column because I can’t verify their authenticity. But when a reader recently sent me photographs of actual headlines as they appeared in newspapers, I decided … Continue reading →

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Onomastics

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

PRONUNCIATION: (on-uh-MAS-tiks) http://wordsmith.org/words/onomastics.mp3 MEANING: (noun), The study of proper names or of terms used in a specialized field. ETYMOLOGY: From Greek onomastikos (of names), from onomazein (to name), from onoma (name). Also see onomasticon. Earliest documented use: 1904. NOTES: {notes} … Continue reading →

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Golf Bet

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

Playing golf with his buddies, George had to make a slick 25-foot putt. As he lined it up, he announced, “I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?” His three friends … Continue reading →

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Windows 8.1

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Ron

Incoming Windows 8.1 update might boot to desktop by default for PC users Live Tiles aren’t dead, but they might be hidden in the next version of Windows. However, there are some herbs that can help a woman naturally increase … Continue reading →

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Fagin

Posted on January 30, 2014 by Ron

PRONUNCIATION: (FAY-gin) http://wordsmith.org/words/fagin.mp3 MEANING: (noun), One who trains others, especially children, in crime. ETYMOLOGY: After Fagin, the leader of a gang of pickpockets, in Charles Dickens’s novel Oliver Twist. Oliver runs away from the cruelty of the undertaker to whom … Continue reading →

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Scale

Posted on January 30, 2014 by Ron

A woman was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, “I don’t think that is going to help.” Although most of the men … Continue reading →

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