Play on Words

A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes in verse.

In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

When she got married, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A flat miner.

When your clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown apart.

You will feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

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Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours …and it ‘taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory.. which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear will suffer the agony of defeat.

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