Tag Archives: Holidays

I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, “Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.” Taking … Continue reading →

Rick, my husband, and I had a hectic holiday schedule encompassing careers, teenagers, shopping, and all the required doings of the season. Running out of time, I got the stationer to print our signature on our Christmas cards, instead of … Continue reading →

Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care, In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. While Mama … Continue reading →

Dear Friend This perfectly delightful note is being sent in paper I made myself to tell you what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early and made a sled with old barn wood … Continue reading →

I can always tell when I’ve had enough to drink. I know it’s time to quit when I’ve collected enough martini olives to spell out HAPPY NEW YEAR. During the holidays, never underestimate the power of one martini. Especially after … Continue reading →

If Christmas took place today, the Three Wise Men would still come bearing gifts, but the whole thing would be written off as a promotional expense. Every Christmas my neighbor puts so many bulbs on his front lawn and roof, … Continue reading →

A Religiously Correct Christmas (Dreaming of cold weather and holidays!) FROM: Pat Lewis, Human Resources Director DATE: December 1 RE: Christmas Party I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at … Continue reading →

Signs Of Trouble In Santa’s Marriage 10. He’s replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange students. 9. Mrs. Claus calls him “that fat freak in the red underwear.” 8. He traded in his sleigh for a van with … Continue reading →

Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas On the 12th day of the Euro-centrally imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me, TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up … Continue reading →

I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, “Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of … Continue reading →