I can always tell when I’ve had enough to drink. I know it’s time to quit when I’ve collected enough martini olives to spell out HAPPY NEW YEAR.
During the holidays, never underestimate the power of one martini. Especially after you’ve had six.
New Year’s is an up holiday – drink and throw.
I don’t remember too much about New Year’s Eve, except I did get arrested for picking up three hitch hikers. I was on a motorcycle at the time.
Every year two million people gather in Time’s Square to watch the New Year come in. This time it was so crowded the New Year didn’t get in until 3:00 AM.
Last year I went to a New Year’s Eve party that was so dull, at midnight everyone kissed their own wife/husband.
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With all the record ice storms, snow storms and blizzards, people stayed home on New Year’s eve to huddle around the stove and give thanks for Global Warming.
New Year’s parties are always the same for the people who only drink at that time of year. First it’s bottoms up, then it’s hiccups.
My system for New Year’s resolutions. Announce them with gusto and great fanfare, pursue them half-heartedly for three weeks and then relax.
At the office party I’m afraid we were all too much into our cups. By the time we got around to singing Auld Lang Syne,, there wasn’t a dry tie in the house.
You know what my idea of the world’s dumbest businessman is? A liquor store owner who goes on vacation December 30th.